Merry First Friday of the Year!!!

i can only begin by saying that the absolute most bestest week of my life is now coming to a close. the first actual paid "vacation" days of my first post-collegiate occupational career could not have been better spent. every afternoon, evening, and early morning was spent with different friends but it still wasn't enough. i still didnt get to see a few people i really wanted to see. and i've realized that everything i've said before about thanksgiving having been my "first trip home" was a bunch of crap. or maybe i was right about the first trip home, but totally wrong about the second trip home. and that the second trip isn't a letdown compared to the first one. i think what ends up happening is that the few days you have to spend, you spend with the people who mean the most to you. and what's driven me nuts about this week is that everyone i spent time with has expressed in some form or other how they could never do what i did. they can't see themselves packing up their car, driving away, leaving everything behind. when actually, all they have to do is pack up their car and drive away and leave everything behind. whether or not they'll like what they find when they only have themselves to count on is something completely different.

and now in my head pops this picture of Dexter Freebish's A Life of Saturdays album featuring the #20 Adult Top 20 single from Disco Cow Music Leaving Town which was probably the current mood music for bazillions of people who have friends who graduate or get a new job or pack up the car and drive away and leave everything behind. and that's what that song is about. the person who stays in town. they don't leave. they watch the other person leave. and instead of being happy for the person (not happy that they're leaving, but that they're going to get to experience something new) they just wait for them to screw up and come crying back home.



point in case:

Pack your bags, your smokes in your pocket
Your wearing my locket around your neck
Take your drag and wait for the Greyhound
the world is your playground and you want to win.

But when your broke and down and no one else is around.
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

Cause I remember how we shared time and
how you used to say that the stars are forever.
And dreamed about how to make your life better by
leaving town, leaving town.

Nothing in life will ever come that easy.
Doesn't mean it has to be that hard.
I know you will find out who you are
But when your broke and down and no one else is around.
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

talk about having no faith in someone...yeah, i know some people think this song is about how they'll always be there as a shoulder to cry on, as someone to lift them up, a comforting soul so to speak. and that may be the case, but these same people are also stuck in their comfort zone, afraid to be on their own outside the safety net of friends, and worry too much about what other people think about them. and it doesn't have to be that way. it really doesn't. the nervous anxiety of being confronted with the unexpected is probably the most exciting feeling one can have in my opinion. it's the feeling kids have the night before christmas, the feeling men have the night before they get married, and the feeling i had the night before i drove 2800 miles away from my friends, family, and everything else i had known for the past 10 years of my life.

and i of all people am definitely not the poster child for doing something like this. all through high school and college i was always destined for mediocrity. i was even told once "i don't know, i always thought you'd just be a slacker like i always knew you to be." so to those people i say thank you for giving me something to measure my life against. and yeah, i'm actually working and doing something, but you don't have to leave to be successfull. you just have to do something....anything...



- posted by yeah...about that... @ 4:16 PM