the fertile valleys, baby!

when you know you have to leave work early because you're scheduled to be on the road at a specific time, it's sometimes difficult coming up with a good excuse. a good excuse needs to be plausible. same with a good lie. it's all about the details.

"yesterday for lunch i bought half a chicken from the grocery store and had a 2 scoop waffle cone (banana nut and mint chocolate chip). i wasn't feeling to well yesterday after lunch, and made it known that i was leaving work 30 minutes early. *key point*

today i show up, still not really feeling all there. in fact, i threw up last night. i take the weird chinese herbal remedy that my boss has in his desk, but it's not doing the trick. i should probably leave work early so as not to get everyone else sick."

as much as it's in the details, it's also in the planning. had i stayed late and been fine the day before, it would appear obvious that i want my long vacation to start a little earlier. but because the story carries over from one day to the next, and there is an obvious change in my demeanor at work, it must be true. this is why i am now home at 11:41 am

so there you have it.

now it is time to pack.

the fertile valleys, baby!

- posted by yeah...about that... @ 11:34 AM (0) comments

 
all i do is this, all i do is this

as i was passing by the water cooler at work today, one of the designers stopped me. his great nugget of water cooler gossip was that yesterday he saw the "louisiana purchase" nickel. when i asked him what the hell is a "lousiana purchase" nickel, he told me there's a new design on the back of Jefferson's head...something about the louisiana purchase. he wasn't really sure what the design was, just that it said "louisiana purchase." i asked him why they changed it and why the nickel. he said something about the bicentennial of the purchase of the land from France, but wasn't sure why the nickel. i asked if jefferson was the president when said aquirement of lands was initiated. he didnt really answer my question, but instead asked if eisenhower was on the dime because he was good in WW2. i answered his question, and proceeded back to my desk to marvel in the aftermath of all that had just occurred.

first, the nerve of this guy! doesn't he know that i, as an engineer, am much to busy to communicate with a lowly designer? and i personally don't designate myself as a higher class than a designer, but my company does, and the proof is in the paycheck, and as a representative of my company, i am compelled to carry out the rules and policies set forthwith.

second, what kind of crap water cooler gossip is rambling on about the new nickel? when i want to hear water cooler gossip, i better hear about a mail clerk shtoopin a vice president, but NOT, definitely NOT, anything about a damn nickel.

third, for just having seen the nickel yesterday, and it obviously making an impression on him for him to bring it up the next day, only to not know anything about it other than it says "something about the louisiana purchase," methinks someone should put the paraphernalia away for a while.

fourth, it's good he knows we bought land from france, but the picture's got an indian in it. an Indian! well, an arm at least. but it's got a tomahawk too. a little reading never hurt anyone. turns out the nickel features "a rendition of the reverse of the original Indian Peace Medal commissioned for Lewis and Clark's expedition, bearing the likeness of America's third president on one side, and symbols of peace and friendship on the other. The medals were presented to Native American chiefs and other important leaders as tokens of goodwill at treaty signings and other events. The design, by United States Mint sculptor/engraver Norman E. Nemeth, features two hands clasped in friendship - one with a military uniform cuff, symbolizing the American government, and the other with a silver band adorned with beads and a stylized American eagle, representing the Native American community with whom the United States sought good relations." who knew?

fifth, jefferson was president from 1801-1809 and suppressed his qualms over constitutionality when he had the opportunity to acquire the Louisiana Territory from Napoleon in 1803.

sixth, fdr is on the dime. eisenhower is on the dollar coin minted 1971-1978.

seventh, fdr is on the dime, indirectly because of his great leadership through WW2, but more directly due to the fact he had polio and he, himself, started the "march of dimes" or that thing you hear about but aren't really sure what it's all about only to find out now that it was a financial campaign who's efforts were aimed at ending polio.

um, yeah

you know how everyone has that thing? that one thing that's a little too OCD about them? (one of) mine is pondering the definition of either really big words, or really small words. so i looked up so.

so adv.
-In the condition or manner expressed or indicated; thus: Hold the brush so.
-To the amount or degree expressed or understood; to such an extent: She was so weary that she fell.
-To a great extent; to such an evident degree: But the idea is so obvious.
-Because of the reason given; consequently: She was weary and so fell.
-Afterward; then: to the gas station and so home.
-In the same way; likewise: You were on time and so was I.
-Apparently; well, then. Used in expressing astonishment, disapproval, or sarcasm: So you think you've got troubles?
-In truth; indeed: “You aren't right.” “I am so!”

adj.
-True; factual: I wouldn't have told you this if it weren't so.
-In good order: Everything on his desk must be exactly so.

pron.
Such as has already been suggested or specified; the same: She became a loyal friend and remained so.

interj.
Used to express surprise or comprehension: So! You've finished your work at last.

Idioms:
so as to
In order to: Mail your package early so as to ensure its timely arrival.
so that
In order that: I stopped so that you could catch up.
With the result or consequence that.
so what
Used to express contempt or lack of interest.

so i'd like to bring up the fact that there was also a "Regional Note." it reads as follows:
New England speakers often use a negative form such as "so didn't" where other varieties would use the positive "so did," as in "Sophie ate all her strawberries and so didn't Amelia." Since this usage may confuse a speaker who has not previously encountered it, it is best avoided in writing.

no shit. it's also best avoided in conversation as those around you will suddenly feel embarassed not having earlier realized that you're retarded.





so i was walking around the office yesterday talking to one of the designers and he had some pretty sweet pictures pinned to the side of his cube. i don't know. there's just something about them. the guy's name is Luke Chueh, and his site is, conveniently enough, LukeChueh.com. if you live in LA, he has a couple shows coming up. go see him. if you don't live in LA, just look at these pictures and wish you lived in LA.

- posted by yeah...about that... @ 7:48 PM (0) comments

 
it's friday night and i can't sleep
too many thoughts inside of me
my head is spinning round feet
it's friday night i'm on the street
cuz i had to get something to drink
now my head's between my feet
------------------------------ Allister


toys, toys, toys. what's there to say about toys? Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene, that's what. and ya know what kind of other things are fun to learn? clear things cost more. in the same way, soft things cost more. and moving parts cost more. and more paint detail costs more. and screws cost more. and a Try Me function costs more. and a larger box costs more twice: once for, um, being a big box, and once again for freight.

damn freight. freight is the bane of my existence. for that matter, so is SpongeBob. and to that, i say:


damn youse SpongeBob Squarepants!!!!!
- posted by yeah...about that... @ 9:40 PM (0) comments

 
sometimes absence is a good thing

i'm not usually one to go on about how sorry i am that i haven't written in a week, because, frankly, i'm not sorry even if i should be. i tried it once before, not saying sorry for a while because someone else did it, and if they could do it, why couldn't i? needless to say it didn't work quite the way i expected it to, which shouldn't surprise me in the least because what usually works for one person doesn't for another.

but it has been a week off, and though i'm not one who writes in it every four hours, i do recognize that a week is a substantial amount of time to not update people you don't know about your goings on. and following in line with a shirt my parents gave me for christmas when they found out i might've failed out of school a semester before i was scheduled to finish that said "The truly educated never graduate", i've been absorbing a greater than average amount of stuff going on around me, and here in semi-bulleted fashion is a list of said absorbed stuff:

-- when replacing the rear shoe brakes on your car, make sure the emergency brake is off i worked on my car this weekend and i never work on my car and i found out it's a lot of fun and you get dirty and that's fun and you save money and that's fun too. all the banging in the world of the sledgehammer against the drum couldn't make the cover pop off, but a push on the e-brake made all the difference.

-- Donald Trump's book, How to Get Rich, is an advertisement for Donald Trump and everything he owns you'd think that'd be an obvious one, but until i spent saturday morning reading the book cover to cover, i realized he's very full of himself and is constantly stating that (insert property he owns here) is the best and most luxurious (type of property) in the world.

-- rollerblading 6 miles on a beach path at sunset is very relaxing i only got them a week ago, but i've been on them everyday since and i figured since it's within skating distance, the beach path is an excellent place to skate and think and you don't have to worry about cracks in the sidewalk.

-- it feels good to be happy for other people i am genuinely happy jaymi found a job that she is excited about. too many people take jobs just because they need a job and when i say job i mean money and not because it's something they want to do.

-- hyundai is doing some pretty decent work lately with the new job and the prerequisite necessity of obtaining some reliable transportation of her own, jaymi had to get a car. she told me she was looking into a hyundai elantra 5dr so i looked into it. things are going pretty well for them when some reports say their new fleet is higher quality than nissan or toyota.

-- old women feel embarassed when they fall down i forgot to mention it when i wrote about the wedding, mainly because it happened the next day, but after lunch as we were leaving olive garden in asheville, north carolina a stiletto heel-wearing old lady smoking the P-funk stumbled sideways much the way a vaudevillian act leaves the stage and fell down in the grass. thinking about it, i probably could have caught her before she hit the ground, but, to my dismay, my first instinct was to laugh. at least it wasn't out loud. but i rushed over and helped her up while the other people i was with kinda stood there frozen in time. and the lady didn't even drop her cigarette; that just shows how classy she is. and i didn't really think about it til we got to the car, but i couldn't help but say out loud "dude, i just helped up and old lady who fell down." and it's funny because who actually says that?

-- sometimes all you have to do is ask the best surprise is when someone takes you up on an offer you sarcastically suggest but it's totally cool because when you think about it it's gonna be an awesome weekend you wouldn't have had otherwise and so you'll spend the majority of the summer looking forward to it.

-- the best ideas come when you should be thinking about something else i work for a toy company with action figures and assorted toys decorating the walls and cubicles and pretty much everywhere the eye can see, so it'd make sense that when i'm supposed to be doing real work i can't help but want to take a Rasputin action figure, throw away all parts from the waist down, burrow through a box full of barbie doll parts until i find the perfect set of legs, dress, and shoes, glue the body together, dress it in a glorious red dress, add the Rasputin cape, pose it, mount onto an acetate plate, and add the proper accessories to make a most amazing looking transsexual Rasputin tennis player. maybe one day i'll be able to post a picture, but trust me when i say it looks amazing. additionally, i've been cutting apart my little ponies and random WWE wrestlers. who knows what i'll end up with. i feel kinda like Sid Phillips from Toy Story and i love the fact that i get paid for it.

-- Grease 2 is a good movie i woke up early sunday morning and it wasn't really the only thing on, it's just where i stopped changing the channel because michelle pfeiffer is hot.

-- "It Always Rains on a Picnic" by Modest Mouse is a good song i heard it a while ago, but never really listened to it, and as it is playing right now and i'm not really paying attention to the words but the ups and downs of the melody, it sounds good. whatever that means.

-- when your boss doesn't talk to you for three days, it isn't necessarily bad three days is a long time to not talk to someone, especially when they sit fifteen feet away and are supposed to supervise your work. turns out my work's ok and they don't have any problems with it so they don't feel the need to interrupt me by checking in and asking for status updates on different projects or for me to double check certain numbers. when you do it right the first time, things work out pretty well all the way around.

-- it's hard to go back to the gym after a week and a half off cuz you'd rather be skating on the beach i'm really not looking forward to goin back in the gym, but i need to. well, i don't need to, but i'd like to or i think it's best or i decided that's what i'm gonna do today whether i like it or not which really doesn't make sense because i don't think other people should do things that make them unhappy, but it's just the going there part that i'm not looking forward to because i know that once i'm there and get going i'll feel a lot better.
- posted by yeah...about that... @ 5:32 PM (0) comments

 
yeah for wedding days, yeah for drinking nights (sometimes)

everytime i go back east, i'm reminded of what i've left. i'm not talking about individual people. i'm reminded of those too, but i'm talking about the simple things like green trees deciduous trees and rain. they don't have those here. at least not in the quantities to which i've becomed accustomed over the past 10 years.

but it's the people that put a smile on my face the most.

yeah for wedding days
the wedding itself lived up to expectations. i thoroughly enjoyed myself. and i can't say i cried, because i didn't. what's the point? the bride and groom have seemed like a bride and groom for so long, so it's not like i was losing a friend all of a sudden. it left me with a very comfortable feeling. in a good way.

yeah for drinking nights
thursday night when we got to NC, we met the groom and a couple groomsmen for a few drinks. i had 8 while reminiscing of a most amazing time in Vegas at the bachelor party. wedding eve(?) i met up with everyone after the rehearsal dinner for a few drinks. i had 5 while spending a lot more time talking and less time drinking, and that's not so bad. wedding afternoon was the reception. since when do people dance and not drink? and i never got to the point that i was a pain in the ass drunk, and that's always a good thing. wedding night i was all set for more relaxing with a couple friends at a bar or two...

(sometimes)
unfortunately, things happen and you don't always get what you want.

you know how when you get one of those white drinking straws with the paper wrapper on it and you open one end of it and kind of pound the straw on the table squishing the once 10 inch wrapper into a single inch and you put it on the table and then dip your straw in your beverage of choice and trap a small amount of said beverage in the straw through a vacuum caused by your thumb or finger or whatever you put at the other end of the straw and then slowly drip eversosmall amounts of your choice beverage onto the previously mentioned squished straw wrapper and watch it twist and grow and you call it a caterpillar or a worm or something else fun until it doesn't twist and grow so much as writhe until you oversaturate it and it can't hold up against the added weight of those eversosmall drops of beverage ultimately leaving a pulpy mess on the table where once your healthy growing caterpillar once played?

you know those?

that's what i saw saturday night.

except the drinking straw is how my friend used to be, the wrapper is who they've become, the thumb or finger or whatever is at the end of the straw is their significant other, and the beverage is their relationship.

i've never seen someone so upset (angry), upset (sad), upset (frustrated), upset (crazy) at the same time, or at least not all in a 2 minute interval. and it's always bad when the bouncer comes over and asks if everything's ok because someone's just walked in off the street, stormed up to where you're sitting, start yelling in someone's face, and knock stuff out of their hands, followed by more yelling until the welcomed intrusion.

knowing they're not gonna make things any easier as the night wears on, we decide to cut the night short and hopefully make things better by grabbing some food. i'm pretty sure it didnt help. in any case, it was the easy way out...for most of us at least.

it's come in spurts, these drunken outlashings, and that bothers me. but at least there's an easy answer as to why it happens...he drank a lot. what i can't understand is how she can sit there, first ignoring him trying to wait it out hoping it will go away with a blank stare into her cigarette, followed by the forced smile and the first hint of a tear, and then the lips tighten together trying to keep the smile intact but quickly turns over in exhaustion, and any facade they put up is instantly shattered, and you can only think they felt trapped in their seat for a million reasons until she finally gets up and walks away. only to return. with a smile. and a hug. and a kiss. and it never happened. the last five minutes vanished. disappeared. and that bothers me more than any drunken stupor ever could. when it's obvious you're letting someone else hurt you but you think it'll make things better time and time again, it's no longer sacrifice, it's glutton for punishment.




- posted by yeah...about that... @ 6:55 PM (0) comments

 
weddings are cool, but first thing's first

so the wedding was pretty sweet, and i'm sure i'll go off on some of the better and mostly the worst parts about it, but when you get invited to an afterwork event featuring yourself, a couple designers, a guy in international sales competing head to head with the CEO, CFO, COO, and Director of Operations, or even the potential thereof, this mos def takes priority.

in addition to the "college, job, marriage, kids" speech, my mom was also famous for the "if you want to succeed in business outside the office, you need to be able to hold your own in bridge, be a decent golfer, and an even better tennis player." apparently mom didn't know about the upper echelon's affinity for the great game of bowling.

bowling! honestly....

really, the average age of my team is 25, and the average age of their team is 45. ignoring the fact that the average salary of my team is $35,000 and their average is $1,271,070 plus another $1,828,000 in annual bonus or stock options, i wouldn't feel bad about beating them. and i didnt make that number up. it's posted online at Forbes.com. i just figured out that it would take about 150 years for me to make what our CEO made last year. that's just crazy.

a couple of these guys bowl just under 200, so they won't be pushovers. besides, they'll probably be practicing at the bowling alley they have in their basement next to their heliport and their own Starbucks.

in all seriosity, i don't think i'll ever have a more opportune time to be able to pick the collective brain of those who currently sit where i aim to be. totally amazingly absoeffinlutely sweet....


- posted by yeah...about that... @ 3:55 PM (0) comments

 
like a big gray swirling ominous cloud

it sits there, this weekend, just waiting for me. and whether it goes by most amazedly or completely pummels me, i'm anxious for it to begin.

i'm not a big fan of tradition. to me, just because something's been done one way for a long time doesn't make it right, or good. but based on my track record of wedding attendances with an astounding one, i think they are the sole exception to the rule.

important traditional events in my life:
going to church -- i tried, i really did. but after a while i wasn't feeling it. i wasn't self-concious about speaking in church. i never muttered through whatever it is people say, and i didnt sing hymns under my breath. i think it is more the idea that you can only be close to God or whatever in a particular location and with other people around you that bothers me. i've heard opinions to the contrary that going to church is supposed to be a celebration of your beliefs and not a limiter, but when was the last time i changed my opinion just because someone else expressed theirs? not trying to defame my parents or anything, but we only went to church as a family at christmas and easter. and only when the grandparents were in town.

prom -- i went my junior year. wasn't so great. kind of like a seeing a movie that's just sort of ehhh. so when the sequel comes out, you're not really keyed up to go and would rather just wait til it comes out on HBO.

high school graduation -- i talked to the guy next to me through most of the ceremony. i wasn't really interested in anything the speakers had to say. i never understood the history behind the ridiculous headgear you have to wear. i don't want to call it a hat. mortarboard?
mor·tar·board (môrtr-bôrd, -brd) n.
1. A square board with a handle used for holding and carrying masonry mortar.
2. An academic cap topped by a flat square.
tell me in what totally effed up language can the same word have two more different meanings? i bet it was a bad joke that no one else caught on to.

college graduation -- see above. sitting through a longer version didn't appeal to me in the least. i didn't go.

so as far as not getting caught up in big ceremonial traditional things, well, there you go. but not going to church doesn't prohibit me from believing in..something. i have faith. i'm not really sure in what the faith lies, but it's there for the taking. i have a high school degree. i got my college diploma mailed to me. i'm ok with that.

but my first and only wedding i've attended.....threw me for a loop. the ceremony itself lasted for only 30 minutes, but i found the whole thing fascinating. the only thing that kind of cheapened the experience was the guy next to me saying "pssst. five bucks says the groom cries when she walks down the aisle." i'm far from being in that position, but i could tell you right now, i'll be crying when my time comes. and smiling. i know i won't be able to keep from smiling. but i'll cry.

the wedding aside, this weekend will prove a little interesting: seeing some friends i saw 3 weeks ago, some a little longer than that, and some i haven't seen in at least 5 years. there's goods and bads about seeing everyone again, and the goods far outweigh the bads, but...we'll see....


- posted by yeah...about that... @ 12:40 AM (0) comments