no need for small talk

so a couple years ago when i first started listening to The Ataris, there was a song that would always come around whose title I cannot bring to mind, but anyway there was ...oh wait...i think it's called Giving Up on Love...(continuing) this one excerpt that was more or less a voice over and i always thought what the hell is this?. recently i was watching A Bronx Tale which is a coming of age story of a little mobster growing up on the streets of, um, i forget where. but anyway, as i'm watching, they go into this dialogue and i'm thinking to myself this sounds waaaay to familiar and sure enough...it was the voice over part in the Ataris song.

anyway, it's about the door test. and not everyone knows about the door test. and i wasn't even ever really told about it, but it was something that just happened one day, and the more i thought about it, the more i realized that it was the best way to really learn something about a girl...you know, besides actually talking to her.

and the door test goes something like this:

Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her."

"Just like that?"

"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

it's truly enlightening. so for any ladies that find themselves getting into my car, just know that you're being tested. and not cuz i think you're dirty...although you might be, so maybe i should have you tested...nevermind


- posted by yeah...about that... @ 12:16 PM